My current dilemma

I have been thinking a lot about dreams lately. Maybe the words of a sister in law, a boss, an article threw me into it. I love my life. I would definitely classify myself as a happy person. But that’s not the same as pursuing dreams. There is that mantra that if you don't know where you want to go in life, you'll find that you end up exactly where you thought you would, which is nowhere. I feel like I’m ambitious. I know I can do things. But the question is what to do. 

But that is the one limitation on dreams. You can’t have every dream. 

Have you ever read the Bell Jar by Sylvia Plath? If I'd known it was about a suicidal girl who spends half the book in a mental hospital, I probably would have never read it, so I'm glad I went in blind: 

I saw my life branching out before me like the green fig tree in the story.  From the tip of every branch, like a fat purple fig, a wonderful future beckoned and winked.  One fig was a husband and a happy home and children, and another fig was a famous poet and another fig was a brilliant professor, and another fig was Ee Gee, the amazing editor, and another fig was Europe and Africa and South America, and another fig was Constantin and Socrates and Attila and a pack of other lovers with queer names and offbeat professions, and another fig was an Olympic lady crew champion, and beyond and above these figs were many more figs I couldn't quite make out.  I saw myself sitting in the crotch of this fig tree, starving to death, just because I couldn't make up my mind which of the figs I would choose.  I wanted each and every one of them, but choosing one meant losing all the rest, and, as I sat there, unable to decide, the figs began to wrinkle and go black, and, one by one, they plopped to the ground at my feet.  (Chapter 7)

I have spent lots of time thinking about who I want to be and what I want to do with my life, but every time I think I have made up my mind on the best version of myself to be, circumstances change and my resolve does too. And then I'm back at the fig tree. 

And with that, I leave you with a great sequence of photos that I never got to share of sledding at Christmas with my husband and brothers.